FACET Topics: Roles in Marriage

In this 21st Century it is easy to dismiss the idea that there are set roles within a marriage. While the concept of roles has changed, most people have a notion of what they think it means to be a husband or wife. What is critical is how the couple sees it. If they both agree on who will cut the grass, who will handle the checking account, who will address the various tasks of their home, then all is good. This section is partially about the mutual giving and receiving within the relationship. There must be a sense of equity for both the husband and wife. They can form a more traditional style or they can adopt a style that appeals to them. Being clear and flexible go a long way in. this area. Things may change over the course of the marriage and roles may have to change too. The one who does the cooking now may get a job that does not allow them to be home at meal times. Illness could change the ability of one partner to do the tasks they originally agreed to be in charge of. In this section, the couple gets to investigate where they each stand on the various roles within the marriage.

Additional Questions to assist the conversation:

• What can you do to keep a sense of fairness and balance within your role as husband and wife?

• What does your culture say about the roles of men and women?

• How would you describe the roles your parents assumed in their marriage?

• Talk about how you would negotiate changes in your roles if something came up that required a change.