Guidelines for Facilitators

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FACET is a self-discovery tool for engaged couples designed to help them learn more about each other and their relationship. Like most tools it is useful while at the same time neither predictive nor a test.

Some Points to consider in administering FACET Premarital Inventory:

  • FACET IS NOT A TEST. Rather, it is an educational learning tool for couples preparing for marriage to help them gain insight into one another and their relationship. It is not a predictor or guarantee of marital success. What it can do, if entered into with an open mind and a willingness to explore, is to provide engaged couples with a better understanding of themselves and their relationship. It can also point the way for a future of ongoing discovery and marital growth. As the facilitator, your task is to assure the couple that this experience will be both useful and enriching, and that they are not entering into a "Pass or Fail" situation, but an opportunity to learn more about each other.

  • WHEN TO ADMINISTER FACET: If it is possible to meet with the couple once without any business, then it is best to administer FACET at the second meeting with the couple. It should be explained at the first meeting when the preparation for marriage is explained. FACET should be introduced as part of the process the couple is being asked to participate in with a pep talk about how being as honest as they can be will benefit them and help them zero in on the least explored aspects of their relationship. By giving the couple time away from the facilitator between the first and second meeting, they will have a chance to talk to each other about FACET and check in with each other. This allows the couple to come back and be more confident that each will enter into the process with a relaxed and open attitude, thus providing more honest responses than if they’d been rushed right into filling out the answers.

  • WHAT TO EMPHASIZE IN EXPLAINING FACET: The couple may well be anxious at first hearing about the tool. Again, it is important to emphasize that the FACET tool is NOT A TEST. Emphasize that the results will be confidential. Emphasize that it is a HELP TO THEM in examining the unique strengths of their relationship, as well as areas for them to concentrate on in the remaining time of preparing for marriage.

  • HOW TO ADMINISTER FACET: At the second meeting, explain again the purpose of FACET. Point out the instructions and ask them to read the instructions from the FACET booklet. Give them a copy of the FACET statements and a response sheet. It is best if they are separated, perhaps in different rooms. It will take approximately half an hour to fill out the response sheet.

  • THE RESPONSE SHEET: Please verify that all the statements are completed. The Catholic Section may not pertain to all couples.

  • SOME ALTERNATE SUGGESTIONS: Some have found it convenient to fill out the Pre-Marital Investigation (PMI) with one while the other is filling out FACET. Others, in large parishes, have a number of couples fill out FACET at the same time. If you do this, explain that it will happen at the first meeting with the couple. The first meeting should always be with each individual couple, as should the meeting to discuss the FACET results. If you do use the large gathering approach to administer FACET, you may wish to also provide some marital enrichment, such as a married couple presentation, an introduction about Catholic Engaged Encounter, or simply a soda and pizza social for the engaged couples to meet each other and form community.

  • With couples who have difficulty reading, or who are uncomfortable with English, some have found it helpful to dictate the statement and have the couple respond on the response sheet, take care that the numbers correspond. FACET is also available in Spanish.

  • Processing the FACET results: At this time, the FACET response sheets need to be submitted to S&K Publishers for processing. In the future a program will be available for purchase from S&K so that those who are using the instrument may process the results themselves.

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